Joy and Sleeplessness!

So this is the 2nd time in a row that I'm blogging at an odd hour. My sleep time table is messed up thanks to the Ramzan timetable. Waking up at odd hours for sehri (early snack and commencement of fast, around 4.45am, so you wake up before that), the actual fasting and joblessness aids sleeping during the day as you wish.

I slept most of yester'day', so was up late solving some math for the impending GRE. 1.30am and I felt 'sleepy', closed books and did a bit of light reading for GRE, no can do, the sleepy feeling overruled. So closed 'em all, put off the lights and tucked in. Instant sleep won't come, alas. So a little munching for the mind while I try to 'switch off' (I cannot not think till I fall involuntarily unconscious), random thoughts here and there, till focus turned to GRE. I tried to visualise what it would feel like to score a 1600 (out of 1600. 1300+ is supposed to be a good score) on the test, and voila! The joy that hit woke me right up!! :P

The last times I've felt such (real) academic joy were:
-7th grade, my 1st 100 in math
-10th grade, SSC, my 89.73% aggr.
-1st sem in engineering, 60% aggr. This one I was so thrilled I feared I'd die before I could fully celebrate! Kept praying I reach home safe! :P (what, for the 1st time in my life all I wanted was to just clear the exam, 1st class score was a Santa Claus bonus!)
-1st job aptitude test and interview, positive. Oh the seal of a perfect record!

Such joys are elements in the geeky scheme of things. Unparalleled and sublime. :P My next stepping stone is a Masters degree, and the immediate diagnosis, the GRE. Will the trailer joy that's keeping me awake tonite/morn culminate into reality? Time shalt tell! *all fingers, limbs crossed* :)

All I Am

Should I tell you that I love you still,
Or do I bury it and pretend I have had my fill..
Should I plead to have you come back to me,
Or do I act strong enough and pray let you be..
Should I tell you tears replace your void,
Or do I behind my happy face simply leave it to hide..
Should I pray to have you back in my life,
Or do I stand back and wish you'd never see this strife..
Should I call to have you hear me speak,
Or do i write it all out and hidden with me keep..
Should I wait till love finds me again,
For I can look nor move beyond your island..
Will I ever be the same again,
Oh when you are all I am, when you are all I am?