On the Learning Curve: Philosophy

Secret. The Law of Attraction. Subconscious Mind. Atonement.

Being showered with hordes of teachers since past 2 years. Ask and ye shalt receive. Life questions and philosophy, The New Thought, all being bombarded at me from different sources. Truly enriching. Call it too much free time or too much non sense, I never seem to get enough of what I read. I read more, hear more (podcasts), see more (webcasts). Each author/teacher leads to more teachers, and the journey continues.

Rhonda Byrne, Esther Hicks, Eckhart Tolle, Richard Bach, Neale Donald Walsch, Jack Canfield, Jane Roberts, Randy Pausch, Charles Haanel, Bob Proctor, Wallace Wattles, Napolean Hill..... I can go on. And wow, to see so many names I've read on one topic, it amazes even me as I write this.What's amazing is how much these teachings intersperse in what we read of hear in mainstream media. In works of the likes of Oprah Winfrey, John Lennon, Dan Brown, J.K.Rowling, Ayn Rand and too many more. Din't really know I could read so much on a segment of Non-fiction that isn't even a story. A study. Learning in this 'field' truly interests, intrigues and grips me. Life comes a full circle (at age 24) when I'm consumed in this pursuit. 

As I imbibe it all in my way of life and living, hope I contribute my bit to the spread and awareness of the same as I move along. That, and a world steeped in peace and prosperity, is a dream most cherished and nurtured. Amen!

I Am Me. And that's OK

(Beware: Ooh so personal rambling follows)

Inspite of being the class topper and the friendly-and-smart-one through school and beyond, I've always felt a lack. A mental image of myself on the lines of peer pressure (yeah, weird to be using that term at 24 when it's more associated with teens :P). A weird sense of self and 'others'. My ego always has had a high head but internally, I am shy. Externally, I'm conditonally (situation and people) an extrovert or an introvert.

In simpler terms: I've always longed for Acceptance. External Validation.

Amongst a group of strangers thrown in together (like my corporate training sessions), I'm the charm of the group. Heck, who knows me here? Easy to be the best! But with people I've known a while and those who've known (and judged) me a while, I'm wary. I'd either do anything they like doing too or try to force them into doing things my way. I can only be faintly stubborn and not authoritative, so I either mostly end up being submissive, or annoyed like a kid without choc. I'm mostly alone inside, however loud outside I may be. But for those that tread within closer borders, I'm the most clingy-cum-dictating soul ever!

Past specifics kept aside, and acknowledging all the spiritual learning and likewise I've been doing over the years, I'm finally at a point of: 'It's OK.' I have a bunch of awesome friends and I have a lotta fun too. And I needn't be anything like anybody else, I'm ME! I am "[a] Zombie.Dusky.Production Engineer.Metal Misc Head.Novel Silverfish.PC Junkie.TV Couchie." (Courtesy: Mon Twitter)

It's OK if I'm sitting home and not zeroing in on a job yet.
It's OK if I still haven't finished my US application for Masters.
It's OK if I din't celebrate the New Year partying in Goa.
It's OK if I missed Maiden and Opeth.
It's OK if I haven't been on any major trek yet.
It's OK at every thing I haven't done yet or won't likely be doing anytime soon.

Life's still exciting and I have so much more still to do!! So flushing all self doubt - something only close ones knew I had so I don't know why I'm quite announcing it out loud anyway but whatever (It's OK!:P) -  down the drain,  here' embracing the New Year 2012 with full vigour and joy! It's gonna be an awesome year ahead!! XOXO

My Idol: Ma'am Radha

Visited school today to get my marksheet photocopies attested. Part of MS formalities. Waiting outside the Headmistress' cabin, I suddenly noticed through the glass panes that she was busy meeting with some of her staff inside. Peering further I saw that the one speaking was my beloved teacher of Std.X, Mrs. Radha Balakrishnan!! The brightest and best teacher I've had yet!! I'd thought she'd already left school! Me being from the Class of 2003, most of my teachers had by now left school. I felt tremendous joy to see her there then! On the threshold of going to the next level of my education (a master's degree), what better blessing than to chance upon the one teacher who embodied the joy and enthusiasm of Science and Math, the spirit of education and the integrity of the Classroom?

Her energy during course delivery and her acute memory at remembering all our names - this for instant access to bombard us with rapid fire questions and keep us standing till we manage to answer atleast one right - was invigorating. She'd jumble names at times but no matter; the name she calls you with is yours till she wills so. We were at the edge of our seats throughout her lecture, alert and attentive, grasping every word, every formula she'd spell. She had her unique - and fast - way of drilling facts right into our very conscience! What was already a brilliant 12 years of schooling at my Alma Mater, was topped with Ma'am Radha being my class teacher in final year. After passing out of school, I had the good fortune of meeting her not more than 2-3 times.

Eight years later today, waiting outside that cabin, I was joyfully rehearsing a quick intro of myself- for she might've surely forgotten me by now? Bidding the Headmistress adieu cheerfully, she turned to exit the cabin. And seeing me, stopped right at the exit with joyous shock and exclaimed,

"Sameeha!!!!"

I was visually taken aback on hearing that and gasped back, "You remember my name!!"

"Sameeha Jahangir!!!!!" she piped still.

It was like being called out to receive an award! That was all I could take in marvelling at her super crisp memory and love. There was no depth left for the respect and gratitude I felt for her. She quickly caught up and had herself updated on my adventures post school. My plan of MS in Aerospace Engg delighted her endless! "NASA! There's NASA there! You must get in! The best place to be!!"  Saying this she turned to her newer fellow teacher and beamed,

"Brilliant student of my class. She."

Award delivered. With profuse wishes and blessings, she anointed me to face my future with determined pursuit.

There are many reasons to why I am who I am, and why I'm going where I'm going, but success I find, only in and due to, the ideals of idols like my beloved school teacher, Ma'am Radha.