Blogosphere! Thee must've missed me! (I really need to stop having these opening statements so often in my blog) It has been a year! As with every other post of mine, this one too comes at a time when I really have no time to blog. But since we (you, reader, and me) belong to the stop and stare with time to spare, I shalt go ahead and pour some nonetheless. (..And it just struck me that this is my first post from my MacBook Air! Thank you powers that be! :P)
The United States of America! Oh how do I even begin detailing the roller coaster ride this has been! (Yeah so I'm not going to :P) Not much difference to me from being home, except that Cincinnati is much sleepier and spacious than my Mumbai. I had no jet lag coming in changing 3 planes, I don't miss Indian food; family and friends back home are always in my heart and I still feel one with them. Being back to school after so many years was one change. Hopping from Production Engineering to Aerospace Engineering, a change of a lifetime. The classroom felt the same with aero having a huge batch size here. Clubs the same. People the same. A little ignorance here and an exchange of thought there, but pretty much all the same. There were DC, NYC and Texas trips in between. Ashamed to say I've seen more of USA than India. (*bucket list reformation*)
But in between all this, what I always still fall flat into the trap for are the people, always the people. Being a social junkie that I am, peeling myself off my friends and acquaintances is something I've never learnt to do. Same old overdos, same old expectation, and same old hurt. Being an active part of two big student groups here gets me to connect with more. A huge list of ego trainers I say. I guess you never stop learning there. Never stop believing, running the muck, getting hurt, falling down, and reinventing the cycle of getting back up. Past experiences only help so much as to show you how fucked up you've always been, not in showing you how you got back up the last time, no. Murphy shrouds that wisdom. "You're busy in your life presently of course, you don't have the time for people skills when you're after a different science degree, of course, I hear you, still, go spend time gathering yourself back up. Muhaha!"
And so it is. You give up. Throw up. Scream. Wait for an epiphany to hit you perhaps. Some angels come along, some leave, some stay back for you. A potpourri of advice, a hug, a shoulder squeeze. Again the people that bring you back up. You're never alone; somehow are never allowed to. Not when you're a dynamically invasive personality like myself, I guess. Work and business have somehow not worked for me in being distractions. They'd keep happening, but I really am two people in one when such 'crises' occur. One for work, one for them inundated emotions. One doesn't help with the other.
So my 'stitches' start where the threads went bare. Not with patches of cover up. And the needle work goes on, the fabric expands, reinforced here and there with the holy (my fancy new term for 'shitty') experiences of life. Blind unwavering unapologetic faith in myself. That is what I adorn. Peace.
Killing emotion
