Love is..when not

She has the most wonderful man in her life,
yet she doesn't.
She is the luckiest woman in the world,
still she's not:

"How do I erase love,
when there can't be hate?
How do I replace space,
where the memory remains?

How do I be your friend,
when I love you more?
How do I feel no more,
when I've felt so deep?

How do I laugh out loud,
when I weep inside?
How do I cry out loud,
when your shoulder's gone?

How do I let you go,
when I'm bound so fast?
How do I hold you nigh,
when you cast a void?

When do the tears run dry,
for the one I cry?
When do I weep no more,
for the days go by?

How do I let this go,
when it's already gone?
How do I swallow and smile,
when its real no more?

There is one true love,
the one that's always mine.
But friends we will be,
so love can always shine, so it can always shine.."

And so the love remains,
a ceaseless flow.
Love it is..always, when not.

Procrastination and the time bug

Ok GRE is done. 1320-1490/ 1600 is the score. Was a lil disappointed at first coz I was expecting (ooh the superealist!) much more. (1600 actually. thats the 'super' before the realist :P) Doesn't hurt to be over ambitious now and then. Atleast scored something thats still an assurance of my healthy brain. :)

After GRE, joined Edwise International for my counseling process. Started off with University Shortlisting and the result was kinda weird. Hadn't heard of half the universities on that list before. That's 4 out of 8. So got down to (finally) do my own research. With motivational and angry urging help from friends :P. So sat up and browsed 6 univs of which I loved one and liked 3. Total number univs in USA (thank heavens I'm atleast fixated on just one country!!) offering MS in Aerospace Engineering: 55!!

Plus the documentation work. Argh! I feel bored even thinking about it. And my muscles suddenly become inactive and my laptop only plays F.R.I.E.N.D.S when I fire it up to do any doc work. sigh! Time flies and I haven't even started off much. Then there is the TOEFL on Sept 28.

I've always felt bored of action. Unless its something like going on a trek or meeting friends :D But otherwise, I'm the heavist body to pull up to do work. The weight of it all is so overwhelming!

Enough procrastination though. Some action required. To do lists to be made. And work to be done. Rut-tut!

Down with procrastination. Hai hai!

Joy and Sleeplessness!

So this is the 2nd time in a row that I'm blogging at an odd hour. My sleep time table is messed up thanks to the Ramzan timetable. Waking up at odd hours for sehri (early snack and commencement of fast, around 4.45am, so you wake up before that), the actual fasting and joblessness aids sleeping during the day as you wish.

I slept most of yester'day', so was up late solving some math for the impending GRE. 1.30am and I felt 'sleepy', closed books and did a bit of light reading for GRE, no can do, the sleepy feeling overruled. So closed 'em all, put off the lights and tucked in. Instant sleep won't come, alas. So a little munching for the mind while I try to 'switch off' (I cannot not think till I fall involuntarily unconscious), random thoughts here and there, till focus turned to GRE. I tried to visualise what it would feel like to score a 1600 (out of 1600. 1300+ is supposed to be a good score) on the test, and voila! The joy that hit woke me right up!! :P

The last times I've felt such (real) academic joy were:
-7th grade, my 1st 100 in math
-10th grade, SSC, my 89.73% aggr.
-1st sem in engineering, 60% aggr. This one I was so thrilled I feared I'd die before I could fully celebrate! Kept praying I reach home safe! :P (what, for the 1st time in my life all I wanted was to just clear the exam, 1st class score was a Santa Claus bonus!)
-1st job aptitude test and interview, positive. Oh the seal of a perfect record!

Such joys are elements in the geeky scheme of things. Unparalleled and sublime. :P My next stepping stone is a Masters degree, and the immediate diagnosis, the GRE. Will the trailer joy that's keeping me awake tonite/morn culminate into reality? Time shalt tell! *all fingers, limbs crossed* :)