Exam History

(Okay, my internet connection has been low since 2 days straight so I shalt post from my phone today, hope it comes up fine!)

Well, my GRE is real close now, 2 weeks to go. And I'm killing time again! The closer an exam gets the more I waste time, a habit since school. This is a very weird kind of anxiety. And its killing!

I was always this last minute prep sort. It usually worked for me. Last minute pressure is when I'd actually study and study wisely (that is omitting a great chunk of material and praying it doesn't show up in the exam). And I had a good going, managed to top most of the time during high school. Topping wasn't my goal, it just happened,and I wasn't complaining :P ,though Mom always thought it was unfair to the kids who slogged 'sooo much'! She'd always wonder if I cheated during exams! (for the record, I din't)

But anyway, it only lasted till high school. Once into college, that charm steadily started wearing off and I scored pathetic in my medical entrance. My grades were above average alright but it was only coz my college and coaching class had these geniuses around me so with that environment around, I fared well, but not well enough.

After the bummer med entrance, I turned to engineering. Good start in sem 1 (by sloggin this time), and then over-confidence and steady decline. And then job placement was near, and I wasn't anywhere upto mark to get in, so I slogged again for aptitude test and got in! And then the graph started rising up again and all was well.

2 years of oh-so-busy-with-job and no-touch-with-books later, I'm again pitched against this GRE prep. Must say I haven't quite used the prep months too well so far and now it's the 'narrow tunnel' time! I'm getting the med entrance jitters again, and pray I somehow overcome the exam-lag-curse and and power up and score (and soar) high! And fast.

Will the curse end?

Old Divide, still deep

We, my family, had been residing in dad's office quarters since the time I was born. All was convenient - nice neighbourhood, good convent schools, docs, infrastructure...everything external that makes an abode location perfect. Internal too. Beautiful Chembur. But it was always known, ofcourse, that it was temporary.

Dad started his house hunt pretty early. Himself having been new to Mumbai at the time, he managed to buy a flat in Pune when i was in kindergarten. Pune, then, was the next big thing. Mumbai, too expensive. Navi Mumbai, huh?

Soon enough, though, Mumbai grew on him, in him, and in us. So a few years after using the Pune flat as a vacation home, he started his hunt closer to Mumbai. Started with Ambernath (for some reason still unknown to me), and after a lotta flat trots and final selection, the broker beaming with pride, was taking us to the builder in an elevator. Still joyous about his commission-to-come, he beamed, "This place is just perfect (it was, really), all amenities, good society and best of all..(dropping his voice a tone lower and leaning closer to dad)..we don't sell any flats in this society to muslims!!" Oh the pride in his eyes for his beloved society's perfect rule! We were aghast! Politely refused the flat offer and left, without comment. He never ever did come to know we were muslims.

Many years, many hunts (mostly Navi Mumbai, yes it was in), and many such 'prefect rules' later, it was time for dad's retirement, 2 months back. There were multiple instances, where the broker/dealer either 'happily' (always happy and proud) claimed they don't sell to muslims "even if they pay us 3 crore for a 30 lakh flat!" or the builders/owners almost stopped short of sealing the deal when they heard dad's name. We don't look muslim, that is all the deception on our part. Post retirement, we're now living in Navi Mumbai on rent. Found and booked a flat just a month ago, its a majorly muslim area. Some owners here sell exclusively only to muslims, stating they are victims of previous refusals themselves.

I strongly oppose the reverse stance of 'selling only to muslims coz I was treated so', no 'treatment' justifies religious divide among citizens of the same country. Taking the guilty to court is also a bit far fetched what with builders these days being equipped with the underground, for all we know. But mostly, when one is hurt thus, by a fellow citizen who you take to be your kin, you are too moved inside to be able to stand up and fight. Too hurt. Too shocked. Too sad. Anger doesn't have a place, revenge is not an option, yearning to be understood, foremost.

Mom, hurt, would point out, "But we do have a flat in Pune, which is now really well developed as envisioned, so why don't we move there?? Why fight and hunt and get hurt here so much where they don't want us??!"

Why really? Because even if some part of the land won't own up to us, we've loved, and hence cannot leave.

Frequency Modulation

Ever fallen prey to wrong interpretations owing to bad network? I just had mine recently when I assumed my best friend's new kitty underwent ear surgery to remove a cyst, over a phone call in bad frequency range. And today when I called her up to ask how the kitty was doing and after being assured the kitty's fine, the friend says she's (my friend's) on pain killers. That's when I realized all the cat got was a rabies shot and the surgery was, in fact, done on my friend!

Funny thing, this frequency. And I don't mean just the mobile network, I mean the real frequencies that we as humans emit and receive. If Noetic Sciences (intro courtesy: Dan Brown's 'The Lost Symbol'), Quantum Physics and 'Brainwave Technology' are to be believed, we are all constantly emitting different frequencies, good and bad. We are, after all, just energy fields. Source energies. And by the 'Law of Attraction', attracting like frequencies like tv towers (info courtesy: Rhonda Byrne's The Secret). The philosophy of the end of the world in 2012 also boils down to a 'frequency shift' in scientific terms. Why 2012? Zodiac. Off topic.

So simply put, you happy, you feel happy, you emit happy vibes, and voila! Happiness returns doubly! Its a simple and most beautiful philosophy. My friends and I have used this theory and it works, and its the most amazing law ever! The Law of Attraction! Enough jargon here, you could look up the material and fields I've mentioned above.

As for the kitty-friend misinterpretation story, you might wanna put yourself in the right frequency in life, or the end result could be you in the wrong surgical table/circumstance in life. Feel Good. Stay Happy! :)